Words are valuable. Try not to waste them. Using ten words where three will do makes a sentence clumsy as well as obscuring rather than clarifying the meaning.
These sentences are very clumsy to read:
- What is ignored in all the debate about paying for email is ...
- What people mean when they say that the internet is a force for democracy is that the internet is difficult for people who want to restrict it to restrict it.
- It is thus that we see that it is ...
Getting rid of the unnecessary words makes them much more elegant and clear:
- Ignored in the debate about paying for email is ...
- People mean that the internet is hard to restrict when they declare it a force for democracy.
- Thus we see ...
Sometimes, it's tempting to repeat the same thought or finding but in different ways:
- What is ignored in all the debate about paying for email is that email is an important method of communication not only for business but also for families who are split up by circumstance. Families living apart for jobs or through relationships use the email to stay in touch. 49 words
We don't need the second sentence. It simply repeats 'families are split up by circumstance' without adding any new information. It's what a marker calls 'padding', i.e. it serves no useful purpose except to boost the word count.
- Ignored in the debate about paying for email is its importance not only for business communications, but also for families separated by circumstance. 23 words
Checking your work for padding. It distracts attention from the point you are trying to make. Often, padding can just be removed. In other instances, a sentence may need to be rewritten.
Just an aside: anybody thinking of writing articles for journals or newspapers needs to be particularly good at weeding out padding. Editors don't appreciate it and if you don't tighten up your work yourself, a sub-editor will be let loose on it, with unpredictable results.